Sometime in my mid-20s I became a bit obsessed with the idea of self documentation. I think I realized how easy it is to start forgetting, and it scared me. I try to think back to my childhood and it’s all just snippets, mostly informed by the photos I have and stories told to me. My teen years were almost entirely scrubbed from existence in a cringe-induced fury; I deleted my entire camera roll and cleared my social media accounts at age 18 and lost everything from the years prior. By that point (2018) the world had been fully digitized, so this was the equivalent of throwing a photo album into a bonfire. I also used to destroy my journals after I was done with them, out of fear they would be found. At age 23, I started keeping my journals religiously. I’m 26 now and treasure the opportunity to look back at what I was going through. It’s a nice reminder of how temporary our problems tend to be. Things that tormented me then are just whispers now.

Anyway, I just love to document my life. I love to journal, fill in my planner, take photos and videos, and honestly, I love to post on social media. But I also hate it. Born in Y2K, I’ve been addicted to the internet since I was a child and I know it’s done something to me psychologically. I got Instagram when I was 12 and have struggled to put it down since. Just as our overlord Zuck intended! I’ve spent more of my life with it than without, and I shudder to think of all the hours of real life I’ve lost to scrolling.

So that brings me to this blog that I’ve just created today. Oh hey, the United States has the same birthday as my blog. I’m declaring independence from… big tech or something. Idk. I know I like to document and to share but I find myself missing what the internet used to be. I’m not against the internet as a concept but I hate what it has become, just a cog in the capitalist machine. I think I’m nostalgic for a time that I wasn’t really part of. The era of blogs and chatrooms and MySpace and the early days of YouTube vlogging. I’m a big fan of the band Wednesday and recently stumbled across Karly Hartzman’s website and was struck with divine inspiration. She’s an indie famous person and I am very much not, so I don’t expect anyone to really look at mine, but I want to make it for myself and the handful of friends who might want to see what I’m up to.

Anyway, I’m gonna go make dinner and then meet up with some friends at a bar. Byeeeeee!